How Self-Talk Influences Teenage Anxiety
Have you ever wondered if your language directly impacts how anxious you feel?
Growing up I was unfamiliar with self-talk and how that could positively or negatively influence our levels of anxiety. I just always thought it was something we had no control over.
Self-talk refers to the voice inside your head that you can hear on a daily basis. To help identify this voice ask, what am I hearing myself say now?
Other terms for self-talk:
Inner dialogue
Internal voice
Internal dialogue
Mental chatter
It wasn’t until my awareness grew that I was able to separate my mind from my soul. Knowing that my thoughts were not always true, and knowing that I could change them gave me the biggest sense of relief.
I realized that I created my own suffering because I chose to attach myself to the thoughts that I didn’t want to be true. Instead of allowing the thoughts to just be, to flow in and flow out without any attachment, I chose to ignore and suppress them because I was afraid it would be true.
What happened?
My feelings of anxiety and overwhelm intensified, and that freaked me tf out.
My inner dialogue at the time sounded a lot like…
Why me?
Why can’t I get over this?
What if I never find what I’m looking for?
Why is the universe against me?
After a while, I realized that this type of language was keeping me in a negative cycle that was hard to break. I was in victim-mode and I had to find a way out.
What did I do to overcome it?
I decided to work with a coach who helped me achieve empowerment, liberation and relief. It wasn’t easy and it made me shed a few tears, but I was able to release the pain that no longer served me.
I was able to reframe my language and let go of the thoughts that were making me feel anxious on a daily basis.
I shared this story with YOU because I want YOU to know that:
You are not your thoughts.
The thoughts that come in are not always true, especially if they elicit fear.
You have control over your self-talk.
Reframing your inner dialogue is powerful and helps you get out of victim-mode.
Challenging negative thoughts enables you to feel better and to respond to situations in a more helpful way.
Reframing your language to be more positive is supportive and affirming.
Take these two statements for example:
😩 I totally messed up my exam, and my parents are going to be so upset. How am I going to tell them? What if I don’t get into college?
👏🏻 I didn’t do as well as I wanted but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to get into my program. My parents know I tried my best and I’ll make sure to communicate that to them.
The difference in your language choice is powerful. Being mindful and aware of this will help decrease your feelings of anxiety in moments of stress.
Ask Yourself the Following Questions When Feeling Anxious:
Am I overreacting?
How big of a deal is this?
Am I being too harsh on myself?
How true is this thought?
Next time you feel anxious, notice how your body feels. Understanding how anxiety affects your body helps you manage it.
Do you feel butterflies in your stomach?
Do your palms get sweaty?
Do your hands start to shake?
Does your heartbeat get faster?
Is it harder to concentrate?
Physical feelings is your body responding to stress. Instead of reacting to those feelings, notice them without getting upset. Let them be in the background - do not push them away or give them your full attention. The intensity of those feelings will slowly diminish, especially as you breathe.